Remember To Breathe...

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The No-Pants Kitchen: Say hello to your healthy new snack

Roasted chickpeas are a ridiculously healthy, easy snack with endless possibilities. Do you like spicy stuff? You can do that. Sweet stuff? Chickpeas have got you covered. Savory? They’re all over that, too. Chickpeas are the LBD of food. Also they’re high in protein, and get super tiny when you cook them, so it’s not like, ‘oh, I can have 20 grams of protein if I stuff my face with twelve cans of this,’ so yay for that!

I’m assuming you have chickpeas in your kitchen and won’t need to put on pants to buy any. I mean, go search around in your parent’s cupboards, there’s probably a can and I don’t think this shit goes bad. You probably have one even if you live alone. They’re less than a dollar a can so you probably grabbed it once thinking you’d add it to a salad or do something radical like make your own hummus. This is way easier than hummus and tastes better than salad.

Your main instructions will always be:

1. Find a can of chickpeas. Rejoice. Ignore the dust on the top, it’s totally fine.
2. Preheat your oven to 305 F
3. Rinse your chickpeas. This means empty the can into a colander and rinse the shit out of it. It’s possible without a colander, but using a regular bowl means lots of escapees. Clean the sink and plug it before attempting that feat.
4. Dry your chickpeas. Rub them sensually with a papertowel. Some husks might come off, some won’t, no big. With the husks on they tend to get a little crispier but seriously, no big. The big deal is getting them dry as hell because chickpeas take for-fucking-ever to roast. Don’t attempt this when already starving.
5. While you whip up whatever you want your chickpeas rolled in, put the dried chickpeas on an aluminum foil lined cookie sheet (no one likes to wash a cookie sheet) in one layer and stick it in the oven. Don’t bother greasing it. Don’t panic. Seriously, these things take forever so even if you’re mixing 20 ingredients while they pre-bake, you’ll be fine.
6. When your spices are ready, take out your chickpeas and toss them in the spice bowl. Roll it around and stuff. Get them all covered evenly so none feel left out.
7. Stick it back in the oven. Total time (counting the first time they were baking naked) in the oven should be anywhere from 30 - 45 minutes. It’s super hard to burn chickpeas but you can do it if you really try. Keep an eye on them to make sure they aren’t burning, but don’t take them out too soon or they’ll be mushy in the middle and by roasting chickpeas we’re trying to unmush them into a crispy snack.
8. They cool pretty quickly so dump into a bowl and devour. Keep in a tupperware container with a sealed lid for a few days, but be warned, like popcorn, it’s just never as good the next day.
   

Super Basic Roasted Chickpeas: aka I have nothing in my kitchen/I’m a poor college kid/what is cooking?

• Salt (sea salt if you’re fancy) pepper and olive oil. Follow my instructions above (please) so you don’t fuck up the most basic one.
• Mix your salt, pepper and olive oil together and toss the chickpeas in it, or if you’re feeling lazy, just shake/pour onto the chickpeas when they’re on the pan.
• If you have some garlic or onion or tomato or seriously anything you can Frankenstein in your fridge as long as it’s leaning in the spicy over sweet direction (meaning probs not strawberries or something) throw it on there too. Stick in oven. Bake. Don’t burn. Chow down and feel like you aren’t a broke college kid cause it tastes so good!

Savory: slightly more advanced, you might have to raid your parent’s kitchen again, or you have these ingredients because you bought them one time for some other recipe. Dig in the back of your cabinets.

• Olive oil, pepper, salt, cayenne pepper (1/4 t don’t go nuts here), paprika, chili powder, half an onion sliced, garlic (this cooks fast, add it within the last 20 minutes of cooking). If you don’t have all of this stuff, it’s good, go with what you’ve got.
• Add broccoli, kale, spinach or anything else green if you’re feeling fancy.
• Wrap in a romaine leaf if feeling super fancy. It’s like a healthy taco, which should be an oxymoron but you did it because you kick ass.

Sweet: the most advanced because lots of wet stuff weighs down chickpeas and they take longer to cook. You probably have the whole day free and you desperately need sweets (awesome for PMS cravings)

• 1-2 T maple syrup
• 1-2 T honey
• 1t cinnamon, 1t nutmeg, 1t brown sugar (this cooks fast like garlic, add it within the last 10 - 15 minutes of cooking)
• Take it out after 40 minutes and test one. If it’s soggy, throw them back in, these usually take longer to cook than the others.

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missclearwater:

This scene will forever give me shivers

THE most underrated scene in the entire movie. It was perfect. And do you know how often I see gif sets of it? This is the second one I’ve seen since the movie came out (It’s been over 5 months, now).

So let’s just pause for a moment from reblogging gifs of Tony’s sass, Loki’s sex appeal, or Bruce’s fluffiness and just appreciate this nameless, old, German guy and how, even though he knew he would probably die, he stood up to a tyrant to prove that the human race wouldn’t give up their freedom so easily.

emily why the fuck you think it necessary to give me these feels

Seeing as that took place in Germany, think that there’s no better place that that scene could have taken place. Givin’ the time frame, he or his parents could have easily lived through WWII. They bowed to a tyrant once; Never again.
Learn from your elders people- let him be an example.

Friendly reminder that he implied that he was a Holocaust survivor.

Poor Germany; the biggest thing it’s remembered for is its worst failing.

one of the best parts of the movie tbh

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iwanttotouchdeanwinchestersbutt:

was this even a real movie

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